so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
