thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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