Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
