She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
