this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
