tell your sister to shave her snatch
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
