They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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