Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
