Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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