kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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