I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
