When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
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It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
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If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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