I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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