Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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