The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
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My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
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you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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