Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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