So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
