we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
