So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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