i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
