we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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