What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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