Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
