woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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