My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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