You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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