Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
