So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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