Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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