Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
