He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
