Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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