My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
