If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
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