is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
