Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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