"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
