I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
