I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
two words...techno handjob
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
