What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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