Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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