I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
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