You're my little dorito
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
