I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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