When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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