Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
