I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
