I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
