Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
