Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
