the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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