it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
