dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
