That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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