her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
