Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Randomize
