I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
