it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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