I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
