then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My balls are so social today.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
