She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
